Republooney Toons in the House?

The last time I wrote about Republicans, I warned about Republunatics at the Gate. The White House Gate, that is.

Now, I am issuing an APB for Republooney Toons in the house. The House of Representatives, that is.

What in the world is happening in the Grand Old Party?  The Party of Abe Lincoln, that is.

Long before Lincoln became president, he told it like it is: “The Republican Party, on the contrary [to the Democrats], holds that this government was instituted to secure the blessings of freedom, and that slavery is an unqualified evil… [Republicans] will oppose in all its length and breadth the modern Democratic idea that slavery is as good as freedom.”

Abe did not say Republicans  will one day commit in all its length and breadth party-cide in full public view? I did not say Tea Party-cide.

Republican Speaker John Boehner threw in the towel. He’s had enough. He is outta the House come October 31. So he thought!

House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy, Boehner’s heir apparent, is in da House!

No, he ain’t.

He dropped out of the race to succeed Boehner.

McCarthy said he did not have the “numbers, pure and simple.” He could win the  conference vote, but could not muster 218 on the floor.

They are having a tea party in da House.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-California) said McCarthy’s withdrawal from the Speaker’s race is “going to create great unity among Republicans.” (Dana helped Ethiopians when we worked for passage of H.R. 2003 [Ethiopia Democracy Accountability Act.]  Dana tells it like it is.)

It would be safer to bet on unity among hungry piranhas than House Republicans these days.

Donald Trump-et was self-congratulatory. “They’re giving me a lot of credit for that because I said you really need someone very, very, tough and very smart.” McCarthy is neither?

But nobody gave Trump-et credit for McCarthy’s withdrawal except the Trump-eteer himself.

Get Boehner fast! Is it October 31 yet?

Phew! Boehner has agreed to continue as Speaker until the Republican caucus can replace him with someone else.

That is easier said than done. If McCarthy, the reigning and anointed majority leader,  cannot muster 218 votes, who else can?

Does that mean Boehner will stay as Speaker until whenever?

Does that mean Boehner is now free to make and cut deals with the Democrats?

I reckon the wingnut branch of the House Republican caucus will go ballistic like a bunch of Yosemite Sams?

“Oooooo!  I hate that rabbit!” Boehner, that is.

Them Democrat varmints too!

I can just hear ‘em Tea Party Republooney Toons a-cursin’: “Ya double-crosser, Boehner!  We’re a-comin’ back, and we ain’t comin back to play marbles!”

“Welcome to the house of Sam.” To the House of the Republicans, that is.

Is the U.S. House of Representatives under Republican control becoming House of Looney Tunes?

Should House Republicans be re-named, “The gang that couldn’t shoot straight”?

With a majority of 247 members, House Republicans couldn’t kick out their old speaker. They sure as hell could’t elect a new one.

The 188 House Democrats are do-se-do-ing it. They are having a hoedown on The Hill. (I did not say like hillbillies.)

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid and his sidekick Chuck Schumer were pontificating about “chaos” among the Republicans and licking their chops like buzzards circling over fresh carcass.

Reid pleaded, “The utter chaos of the Republican party must not threaten the full faith and credit of the United States and the American people. While negotiations on a budget deal continue, we should work together immediately to take the threat of default off the table.”

Schumer warned, “If Congress waits around for the Republican Family Feud to resolve itself, we’ll risk a government shutdown and defaulting on our national debt. It’s time for the responsible members of the Republican Party to work with Democrats and forge a bipartisan budget deal, take the threat of default off the table, and protect middle class families from economic disaster.”

Which House Republicans are going to do-se-do with the Democrats to that old tune about raising the debt ceiling to keep the U.S. from defaulting on its debt obligations?

Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson explaining his position on raising the debt ceiling to borrow and pay for already-existing financial and legal obligations declared:  “Let me put it this way: if I were the president, I would not sign an increased budget. Absolutely would not do it. They would have to find a place to cut.”

Carson has no idea the debt ceiling is about debt already incurred, not future financial and legal obligations!

How does the U.S. pay for its astronomically high “credit card” debt?

“Carsonite” conservatives in the House have repeatedly forced showdowns over the debt limit in the past and have used it as a tactic to get their way.

“The way (road) to financial hell is paved with good, bad and indifferent intentions.”

Anyway, how does that old Woody Guthrie song go?  “Every day, several times a day, a thought comes over me./ I owe more debts than I ever can pay back more money than I’ll ever see.”

When the Republicans won a huge majority in 2010, they proclaimed they were given a clear mandate by the people to govern the country.

Back then, a tearful House Minority Leader Boehner said, “With their voices and their votes, the American people are demanding a new way forward in Washington. The people’s priorities will be our priorities. The people’s agenda will be our agenda. This is our pledge to America, this is our pledge to you.”

Ha!

Five years later, House Republicans could not even govern themselves, let alone the country.

Five years later, House Republicans couldn’t find their grand old way, let alone “a new way forward in Washington.”

Five years later, House Republicans couldn’t come up with their own agenda, let alone craft one for the people.

For crying out loud, after five years with a huge majority in the House, Republicans cannot even elect their own Speaker, let alone a leader to lead the country.

The people are now looking at the Republooney Toons  running amok in the U.S. House and running to become president of the U.S.

“What’s up, Doc?”

What’s up, Speaker Boehner, that is!

That’s all folks! Until the Republicans get a Speaker, that is.